Find Strength In Pain By BMango
Jasper is given one more chance to turn his life
around, and he finds it with Edward who has one last chance at living.
Jasper/Edward. AH
Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Jasper & Edward
This story starts out with Jasper just being released from jail. Part of the terms of his release is to do some community service. This is one of many times Jasper has been in trouble with the law. He's hoping to change things this time, to make sure this is the last time he ends up there. He decides that he needs to do something totally different to make sure he doesn't run into any of the people from his past. He talks to his Parole Officer, Felix and decides that he'll volunteer at a Hospice Center.
Despite the life that Jasper has led, he' a very kind and compassioniate man. When he first arrives to volunteer there, it's to disapproving looks and cold shoulders. He spots a woman that reminds him of his Nana and sets out to talk to her. He soon finds a friend in Miss Celie, and enjoys talking to her about her family. He notices the young man sitting next to her and assumes he's her grandson. Sadly, he's so wrong....
"What you have to understand is that Edward isn't visiting me or anyone
here." She turned her gaze to me, her dark brown eyes serious but sad. "He's a
patient here, too."
"A patient? He's dying?" I asked incredulously. How could someone so young and so beautiful be that sick?
"This is not my story to tell, my dear." She sighed and looked back out the window.
Edward had leaned his head back on the tree, and his eyes were closed. The sun filtering through the leaves danced across him, making him almost sparkle in the light like some ethereal creature. I couldn't have stopped watching if I wanted; he captivated me as no one else had.
Without shifting my gaze, I addressed the woman beside me. "I think I need to know his story, to know him."
"Then I suggest you return here and give him another chance." She chuckled then, a low throaty sound. "But be patient with him, Jasper. Very, very patient."
Jasper can't stop thinking about Edward, and wondering why he's there. He decides to tell Felix that he wants to volunteer more time there. He also needs to find a job, not easy for an ex-con. Jasper has had a really touh life, most of it from his bad choices. Choices he now regrets and wants to change. He never wants to go back to the life of crime he left, but he really struggles with staying away from it. Somehow his past keeps catching up with him. He tries to leave it all behind but keeps running into the gang that he was involved with when he was arrested.
Edward is so young to be living the life he has lived. He's been sick almost his whole life, and now he's sick of fighting it. Every person that he has known that had the same condition he has, has died. Most of them at a much younger age than Edward. Earlier on he tried fighting, but I think he just decided it was easier to give up. He needs a reason to want to live again, and he finds that in Jasper. Sadly he loses one friend as he gains another. Edward has lost lots of people in his life, and when he loses Miss Celie something in him snaps....
"Don't you get it? I'm dying!" He waved at the gravestones surrounding us. "You'll be faced with this same scene if you stick around."
"Edward, we're all dying. Maybe not with some incurable disease, but each day brings us closer to our own deaths. I won't live in fear of what tomorrow may bring, I plan to just enjoy today."
"I can't put you through that. I won't. I just want to be left alone." He turned away from me then, but I wouldn't let him dismiss me so easily.
I put my hand on his shoulder again. "No."
His head whipped around, anger in his eyes and color on his cheeks. "Why the fuck do you care? I'm just some community service to you! You're just a..."
"A what? A thief? A criminal?" I could handle his pushing me away or anger at his situation, but I would not allow him to attack me. "You think you have me all figured out?" I stood and glared down at him for a few seconds before turning and walking away. I knew if I stood there, I would say something I would regret.
I was only a few yards away when I heard his voice behind me.
"Wait!"
This story really is heartbreaking at times. Both boys have lost everyone that meant anything to them, but now they've found each other. Edward struggles with many things, he doesn't want to hurt Jasper by leaving him, but he's not sure that won't be the outcome. Jasper is willing to take whatever Edward can give him. They truely love each other and it really is sweet to watch their relationship delvelop. They both deserve so much better than what they have been given. Hopefully together they can make good things happen.
BMango has done a great job on this story, even when you find out about Jasper's past you still want to see him succeed. And Edward, once you know about his story you will be left with such a feeling of sadness for him. Edward's pov is told mainly from his journal entries, which are at once beautiful and heartachingly sad. He's such a sweet boy and really hasn't had a chance to live a normal life at all. I honestly read most of the story with a lump in my throat, just waiting for something to happen to Edward. It's a very realistic story, about hope and how easy it is to give up on it, then realizing it's worth it to keep believing things can get better. The beautiful banner was made by otherside92, and LyricalKris is her beta. Between the two of them they really do an amazing job. Just remember the tissues.
"A patient? He's dying?" I asked incredulously. How could someone so young and so beautiful be that sick?
"This is not my story to tell, my dear." She sighed and looked back out the window.
Edward had leaned his head back on the tree, and his eyes were closed. The sun filtering through the leaves danced across him, making him almost sparkle in the light like some ethereal creature. I couldn't have stopped watching if I wanted; he captivated me as no one else had.
Without shifting my gaze, I addressed the woman beside me. "I think I need to know his story, to know him."
"Then I suggest you return here and give him another chance." She chuckled then, a low throaty sound. "But be patient with him, Jasper. Very, very patient."
Jasper can't stop thinking about Edward, and wondering why he's there. He decides to tell Felix that he wants to volunteer more time there. He also needs to find a job, not easy for an ex-con. Jasper has had a really touh life, most of it from his bad choices. Choices he now regrets and wants to change. He never wants to go back to the life of crime he left, but he really struggles with staying away from it. Somehow his past keeps catching up with him. He tries to leave it all behind but keeps running into the gang that he was involved with when he was arrested.
Edward is so young to be living the life he has lived. He's been sick almost his whole life, and now he's sick of fighting it. Every person that he has known that had the same condition he has, has died. Most of them at a much younger age than Edward. Earlier on he tried fighting, but I think he just decided it was easier to give up. He needs a reason to want to live again, and he finds that in Jasper. Sadly he loses one friend as he gains another. Edward has lost lots of people in his life, and when he loses Miss Celie something in him snaps....
"Don't you get it? I'm dying!" He waved at the gravestones surrounding us. "You'll be faced with this same scene if you stick around."
"Edward, we're all dying. Maybe not with some incurable disease, but each day brings us closer to our own deaths. I won't live in fear of what tomorrow may bring, I plan to just enjoy today."
"I can't put you through that. I won't. I just want to be left alone." He turned away from me then, but I wouldn't let him dismiss me so easily.
I put my hand on his shoulder again. "No."
His head whipped around, anger in his eyes and color on his cheeks. "Why the fuck do you care? I'm just some community service to you! You're just a..."
"A what? A thief? A criminal?" I could handle his pushing me away or anger at his situation, but I would not allow him to attack me. "You think you have me all figured out?" I stood and glared down at him for a few seconds before turning and walking away. I knew if I stood there, I would say something I would regret.
I was only a few yards away when I heard his voice behind me.
"Wait!"
This story really is heartbreaking at times. Both boys have lost everyone that meant anything to them, but now they've found each other. Edward struggles with many things, he doesn't want to hurt Jasper by leaving him, but he's not sure that won't be the outcome. Jasper is willing to take whatever Edward can give him. They truely love each other and it really is sweet to watch their relationship delvelop. They both deserve so much better than what they have been given. Hopefully together they can make good things happen.
BMango has done a great job on this story, even when you find out about Jasper's past you still want to see him succeed. And Edward, once you know about his story you will be left with such a feeling of sadness for him. Edward's pov is told mainly from his journal entries, which are at once beautiful and heartachingly sad. He's such a sweet boy and really hasn't had a chance to live a normal life at all. I honestly read most of the story with a lump in my throat, just waiting for something to happen to Edward. It's a very realistic story, about hope and how easy it is to give up on it, then realizing it's worth it to keep believing things can get better. The beautiful banner was made by otherside92, and LyricalKris is her beta. Between the two of them they really do an amazing job. Just remember the tissues.
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