If On a Winters Night by Touchstone67

If On a Winters Night by Touchston67

One fateful, winter's night, Edward and Jasper's lives are turned upside down. Is their relationship strong enough to withstand the aftermath, or will they be driven apart forever? Rated M for sexual situations, language. AH J/E slash

Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Romance - Jasper & Edward

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6191221/1/If_on_a_Winters_Night



What if on a winters night something happened that changed your life?  Every hope, every dream, every plan that you made for your future changed in an instant.   What if if didn't just affect you, but the person you loved more than anything else in this world?  What if you weren't sure you were willing to even try to live this new life you had been handed?  What if the person that you felt so much love for, was unwilling to let you give up, would you let him help you? 



This story starts out with Edward leaving work, he's in a hurry to get to Jasper's house to spend New Years Eve together.  They've decided that this will be the first time they make love.  They've been together about two years, but neither were ready until now.  On the way there, Edward is in a horrible accident, he's seriously injured and is in the hospital for weeks.  He find out that he's paralyzed from the waist down and will be for the rest of his life.  He decides that he can't let Jasper live like that for the rest of his life, he tells him not to visit and to stay away.  Jasper doesn't listen, he loves him too much.  He sneaks into his room every night and spends a few minutes just watching  Edward, talking to him and playing him music.  He loves him so much, it's not possible for him to even think about giving up on him.



I've read this story twice, it's truly one of my favorites, I love the characters, and I love the incredible story.  Jasper is sweet, he's caring, loving and very determined to show Edward they can still have a life together no matter what.   As for Edward, we start out with him in a very dark place, he feels so alone and just doesn't see the point in changing that.  Jasper changes that with his love.  Suddenly Edward is trying as hard as he can to regain as much of his old life as he can.    His constant battles with "the darkness" that always seems to be looming in a dark corner, is absolutely heartbreaking.  In a way Edward punishes himself by not letting Jasper love him, by denying his love, he soon realizes that he needs Jasper, just as much as Jasper needs him. 


"Jasper had once been my savior, my hero. He had proven his bravery when he had kissed me in the pool that night, taking that chance on an uncommon love. Now he caused nothing but agony so strong it took my limp, shallow breath away. My heart that had once been full and bursting with his love had become a small shriveled muscle filled with more pain than I felt in the crippled body that housed my angry, broken soul. The waters were troubled, there was no life raft for us, no bridge to cross and get us safely to the other side. I was going to drown him, it was only a matter of time.

I grabbed my iPod and put in the earbuds. Scrolling through the list of songs, I settled on our song, turning the volume up and drowning out everything around me. The song played over and over as I slowly drifted back to sleep, tears drying on my cheeks. No matter how much I denied it, his love was an echo in my heart, the faint thumping still there buried under the darkness."



Throughout the story the boys have so many symbols of their love. They both love The Beatles and are constantly listening to their music.  They can always find a Beatles song that represents what problems or blessings they are living at the moment.  Jasper is a runner and decides he's going to help raise money to help Edward buy a handicap accessible van.  It's a half marathon, more than twice what he's used to running, he trains constantly and with all the love and passion he has for Edward you just know he's going to succeed. He also encourages Edward to play on a wheelchair basketball team, something that at first Edward fights, but soon grows to love.  It takes Jasper a while to break down the walls Edward has erected around his heart.  He truly believes no one will want him anymore, and that Jasper is better off without him.  When he finally lets Jasper in, it's so heart wrenching.


"Let me decide what is and isn't good for me."

The room was silent and we were still. Just like on our first date, time seemed to stop for us as he considered my words. His thighs felt warm beneath my cheek, the flannel of his pajama pants soft against my skin. Gripping his tee shirt, I pulled myself impossibly closer. I was about to give up hope, thinking I had failed us again, when I felt long fingers tentatively weaving through my curls, caressing the ends gently. Remaining completely still, my breath caught when I felt his hand leave my hair, but it returned a second later. He separated the waves, twisted them around his fingers and let them slide through, always gentle and light.

"Just like silk," he murmured.

My heart began to pound again, but for an entirely different reason.

It now pounded with hope.

A hope I was beginning to think long since dead. A hope I hadn't felt in weeks.

Perhaps being a dreamer wasn't so bad after all, maybe it was what had kept me coming back all those bleak days.

"Why do you still wear it?" he asked, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. The bracelet was still clasped on my wrist, regardless of what had happened, it wasn't going anywhere.

"Because I promised you I'd never take it off," I quoted myself from the day before.

"Stupid asshole," he whispered above me. "I'm nothing but a broken body housing a black soul."

When I lifted my head to look at him, his fingers stayed buried my curls. Tears sat on the rims of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Broken body or not, he was stronger than before, maybe even stronger than he had been before the accident, and he had absolutely no idea how fucking brave he was.

How much of a hero he was in my eyes.

"You're everything, Edward," I told him, my hands moving to his thighs. He shook his head, closing his eyes as he fought his emotions. I captured one of his hands and brought it to my face, placing his palm flat on my cheek. "Baby, if I thought there wasn't something worth fighting for I would have left long ago."

When he opened his eyes, I saw the battle that had been waged. They were dark and stormy, turmoil and anguish flooding them until it spilled onto his cheeks. There was no sobbing, no wailing, or even sniffling, just silent tears falling as he let a slow smile cross his face. Beneath my hand, his thumb began to stroke my cheek.

"I'm tired of trying to stay away from you," he admitted softly.

I returned his smile.

"Then don't."




Touchstone67 just recently started updating again, we're nearing the end with less than 10 chapters left.  While I'll be sad to see it end, I can't wait to see where Edward and Jasper's life leads them. This is such a good story, well written, heartbreakingly sad, and overwhelmingly happy.  The angst level on this story is high, but it is so worth it.  The last update  was so good, literally had  me cheering at the end and of course wanting more.  I'm so anxious to see how the story ends, the boys story is far from over.  If you only read one slash story, read this one, you'll be hooked.